Assisting Without Overstepping: Common Pitfalls of the Spiritually Inclined

999897_10200249851393802_230484914_nAs we awaken on the spiritual path and we begin to remember and integrate higher truths, as well as new abilities and skills, many of us are very excited with the experience of expansion this brings. Our lives suddenly feel more meaningful and we are exposed to experiences that often feel nothing less than extraordinary. May it be awareness of realities beyond the veil or the awakening of powerful psychic and healing abilities, we suddenly feel much bigger and larger than the three-dimensional selves we formerly knew ourselves to be. For many awakening spiritually also comes with a strong inner feeling of being part of a greater whole. Many experience a calling to something greater than themselves and a renewed sense of purpose. It is only natural and understandable therefore that many of us can’t wait to share our new perceptions, applying our new found knowledge of energy work, intuitive insight and multidimensional perspectives to the benefit of our friends, families and loved ones.

Our desire to spread our new skills, knowledge and insights is natural and in many ways quite wonderful. We feel that with our new found wisdom we can easily intervene and help others with their journey, providing them with the exact shift in perspective or with just the right tool and powerful healing that they need in order to improve their lives. With our valuable input, we reason, we obviously can support those around us to shift and improve their lot in powerful ways. With our help friends, family and loved one can easily begin to actualize their potential and create more positive experiences. So, armed with the best of intentions, we venture out to provide exactly that help, giving that advice, sharing that psychic insight, offering that healing technique and the help we perceive people need. However, even if at a first glance this would seem like a great way to contribute to others’ well-being, we must be aware of some of the spiritual laws that govern this plane. And we also need to understand the dynamics of personal growth from the perspective of Soul evolution and the nature of psychic boundaries.

Free Will and Soul Evolution

The Earth plane is a reality where Free Will is the name of the game. Souls that incarnate in this plane choose to experience free will as the backdrop through which to evolve. Once incarnated here, free will is not an option or a choice; it is the foundational metaphysical framework within which this reality manifests. Souls choose to incarnate here so that they may learn to evolve in ways that empower them through the appropriate use of personal will, developing the ability to choose between evolutionary and devolutionary options. Karma in many ways is a bi-product of the fee will zone, as karma is the feedback loop on the consequences of one’s choices. Choice and learning how to choose wisely, in alignment with integrity and higher will, even when uncomfortable, is actually part of the testing and initiations that all souls face as they evolve here. Choices and the ability to choose are in many ways the reason for being for the nature of polarity in itself. There would not be good vs bad, darkness vs light, love vs fear manifesting both here, outside of the context of developing the ability to choose between polar opposites or transcend the polarities all together. These kinds of evolutionary choices create an opportunity for alignment between the personal will and the Will of the Soul and the Highest Expression of Will. It is the proactive act of choosing that which is higher that aligns the personality to the Higher Will. It is the proactive embracing of Soul aligned choices that furthers a person’s Soul growth.

The main lesson on this plane of reality is that of aligning the personality with the Soul, while shrouded in density and blinded by the veil. Using the correct alignment of the personal will towards Higher Will and progressively marrying a love based perspective (or as some call it Service to Others), the personality gradually seeks further and further closeness to the Soul’s agenda. A being in incarnated form is always seeking this alignment and growth, often following mysterious Soul driven pathways of Earth plane experience which do not always make a huge amount of sense when seen from an Earth perspective. A dysfunctional relationship may be exactly what a person needs to complete and re-balance a karmic cycle as an abuser in previous lifetimes or to transcend a multi-lifetime pattern of abuse. A seemingly non fulfilling job may be exactly what a person needs to develop skills needed to carry out a Soul purpose that will activate 10 years down the line. It is easy, without a true Soul perspective, to hinder rather than help when intervening to fix what seems wrong in other people’s lives.

Be Subtle and Non-Invasive With Your Help

Exercise discernment with your interventions and guidance when dealing with others. Seek to empower and to help, paying careful attention not to take people away from their Soul lessons, their Soul’s path and their opportunities for proper use of free will. Do not intervene uninvited. Respect the timing and free will of the person’s personality.

Be mindful that at times people are not ready to hear what you have to say or for your intervention. They may not be in a place where they can understand where you are coming form, but they also may be overloaded in their experience and your intervention may actually tip them over the edge. Therapists know very well, for example, that it’s not wise to go poking around into people’s trauma, as you can trigger them or unbalance them more they can currently cope with. Therapists will often spend considerable time with their clients building trust and safety and making sure the client has coping tools sufficient for exploring deep trauma. Be very mindful when dealing with other people’s psyche and do not play with other people’s psychic material lightly. Especially when dealing with other people’s early psychic baggage and possible fragmentation, tread lightly.

Always make sure people actually want your help, if you get signs that you have gone too far, triggered someone, invaded someone’s privacy with your psychic-ness and or getting resistance, do not push further, as some people do, thinking the person’s resistance needs to be broken. Be respectful of who is in front of you at all times and if you get a no, apologize for overstepping and back off. Do not assume that you know better than the person in front of you what they need. Deliver careful guidance, intervene only when asked and be precise with the quantity and quality of the help you offer.

Be Compassionate, Non-Judgmental and Stay Clear of New Age Platitudes

It can be even easy for us to intervene in misguided ways, even when armed with the best of intentions. Be compassionate of people’s process and sit beside them, not above them. Being present with another person’s pain and process is often the biggest gift that you can give. Stay in your heart and listen. Offer soothing and comfort. Offer advice if asked. When offering advice, try to stay clear of new age platitudes. There is a rampant disease in the spiritual community that is that of telling people who are going through painful experiences to be positive, that they are in victim consciousness or that they created whatever they are going through, be it the death of a child or a diagnosis of terminal cancer. While there is some truth to the fact that we create our own reality, it is not as simple as delivered by the Law of Attraction, new age bestseller style. Our reality is far more complex, as we create as much from the Soul level as we do with our thoughts and feelings. Do not assume you know why something is happening to someone. Be humble. Do not lecture. And pay attention to timing. Human beings have emotional bodies. When traumatized by things like death of a loved one, sudden break ups, being fired from a job, abuse, often the mind body energetic system of that person goes through a period of chaos. The energy systems go through some shattering and it can take a bit of time for all the pieces to come back together. This is natural. And to expect someone to immediately go back to balance according to lofty spiritual ideals is not realistic and will make the person feel shut off and judged. Presence, in the heart, always the best at these times.

Be Mindful of Other Peoples Soul’s Journey and Psychic Boundaries

One of the very simple and foolproof ways to make sure we are respecting another Soul’s journey is to not offer unsolicited advice, help or guidance. It is almost always better to wait for another to ask for our help. For a start this is when they are going to be most receptive to hearing it. And it is respectful of the other person’s timetable for Soul growth. If we feel guided to offer help regardless, it is good to ask people if they want our feedback and support, before we deliver any insight, healing or psychic messages. This gives people the opportunity to assess whether they want you to access their field or deliver them psychic information. Any other approach, aside from potentially being unhelpful, constitutes a violation of psychic boundaries. This rule is also important to keep in mind between friends who are mutually psychic.

Just because friends are psychic and exchange psychic information with one another at times, this does not mean that they are allowing 24/7 access to each other’s energy field at all times. Friends still have a right to their own privacy and to decide what they want to share, what they want help with and when. Remember to check with each other if feedback is wanted first. Make this a habit with all the people you know. And make sure that when you ask people permission to access them, to do so in a way in which they feel free and comfortable in declining your offer. Reassure them that you will not take offense. And if you find that you cannot have your help declined without feeling hurt, check your motives for offering help in the first place. You may have a hidden agenda, unconscious even to yourself.

Trust in People’s Ability to Follow Their Soul’s Path

In general, develop an attitude of trust. Trust that your loved ones have the ability to grow and to follow their own Soul’s guidance. Trust that Spirit is supporting them in growing as much as it is supporting you. Trust that each one of us is taken care of by Source in wonderful if yet mysterious ways. Making sure that things work out is not all up to you. The universe would never overwhelm you with that kind of burden. Your intervention may be necessary and welcome, but also consider it may be a way for you to reduce your own anxiety and fears that your loved ones are unable to change. Observe your energy of your offer of help. Recognize that when you offer healing or guidance to others based on a belief that they are unable to change on their own, that you are sending them an unconscious message that they do not have the strength, power or ability to take charge of their own lives, to listen to their Soul or to heal. Or that in some way you think that what they are doing, how they are handling things is wrong. These messages are dis-empowering to the person you are assisting. And it may even block them in their evolution.

You will have noticed that people often resist attempts for healing and intervention. It is not necessarily the healing attempt or the offer that they are resisting, but the hidden agenda or the negative unconscious message that they are receiving from us that state that they are not good enough or that they are not able to handle their own lives or that they are doing something wrong. Healing offered from this place is always met with some degree of resistance and rarely produces positive change. Notice when people resist your help and check if there are any negative messages you are sending out.

An Offer of Healing is Not Always an Offer of Love

An offer of healing can sometimes be an attempt to manipulate, control, gain status or overpower. Make sure your offerings are coming from a high place, devoid of a lower-self agenda. Many of us slip into this one from time to time and some of us, still a little young on the path, do this on a regular basis. We offer healing that looks like support, but that is actually a way for us to get our foot in the door of the other person’s psyche, so we can manipulate or control outcomes; or so that we may feel superior or more powerful than them, in our position of know-it-all healer or psychic. This can be a misguided way to boost one’s self-esteem. Or to boost a power hungry ego. And make no mistake, the spiritual new age arena is full of people with power agendas. Spiritual ego is one of the biggest pitfalls of the spiritual path and one of the easiest to fall for. This sounds really devious and you may be tempted to say “No, I do not do that”, but look again, as it can be subtle. Observe yourself. Also observe others. If you have people in your life that do this regularly, and consistently offer your insights and advice that end up with you feeling bad about yourself or that you have been subtly or not so subtly being put down, you may want to reconsider the association or take the advice with a pinch of salt.

Resist the Temptation to Influence and Manipulate

This one is especially tempting between people in a relationship, family members or close friends. “If only so and so would wake up and see that he needs to do X. If he did X, like I believe he should, his life would shift. Let me subtly suggest to him that he do X. How can I get him to do X”. The truth is, who knows if X is what is best for this person. It may be, it may be not. It may be that going down this so called “wrong” road is the quickest path towards change for this person. The quickest path this Soul has chosen to hit bottom with his patterns, so that he may make an abrupt U-turn. It is wiser to not assume that we know what is good for another. We may think we do, but often we don’t. Especially with our loved ones, we are often too close to see clearly. Also we may want was is best of our close person, but often this is actually us wanting them to behave in a way that makes them easier for us to handle. Always keep in mind that your perspective may be skewed by your own personal goals and aim to be as neutral as you can with regards to other’s choices and path.

Examine Your Own Agendas

It is always best for our interventions to be pondered carefully, stripped of the lower self agenda and delivered tactfully and with precision. Where am I coming from in offering advice? Did my friend ask for this advice? Why do I feel I need to give it anyway? Is it to make myself feel better? To affirm my self-image as a wise one and powerful one? Or so that I do not feel anxiety about their stuckness? Is it about trying to change this person’s behavior so as to eliminate the problems I perceive they are creating in my life? Is it so that I can get the person to change according to my agenda? Am I doing this for me or for them? Always tune in with yourself and your guidance before offering advice or healing. Examine your motives. If you work with guides, ask your guides for an effective and agenda free delivery. Ask if what you are doing is truly for the benefit of their Soul or if it is actually for your own benefit. About 80% of the time you will find yourself deciding that non-intervention is the highest path, as it may be the option that is most trusting and most honoring of the other and their chosen path. There will also be times in which strong advice or warning is needed and this is ok, especially if the person in some ways has appointed you as their teacher.

Teach Through Example, Rather than Telling People What To Do

The best way to advise and teach those close to us is almost always through example. Model the behavior you want the other to embrace. Follow your own path with integrity and soon others will do the same. Focus on filling yourself with light and love and joy and forgiveness and see how quickly people will gravitate towards you and ask you for your support directly. Embody the vibration of love within your own life and quickly others will follow suit. Set the energy, lift the vibration and other soon will raise to match your consciousness stream, coming into resonance with your positivity, passion and joy. Release your loved ones from your expectations and from the judgments of what they are doing wrong. Love them unconditionally for who they are. You will notice that this alone, this unconditional acceptance, will often give them the freedom they need to transform. They may choose a different way from the one you would have chosen for them. And they may transform away from you. Let this be ok with you. Allow your loved ones to change in the way most harmonious for their Soul’s growth and ask Spirit to support you if any separations occur. Know that there will always be an abundance of love for you and many friends and loved ones for you to play with, even if the names of the people around you may happen to change, as is often the case with people traveling on pathways of accelerated evolution. Allow for transformation to happen around you in the most natural and unhindered ways, trusting that all is well.

Support People’s Change Energetically

Offer support to others by holding high and positive images of them. If people close to you are behaving in ways that you feel challenging, hold evolved images of them in your mind and treat them as if they were already evolved. When we hold evolved images of our loved ones, every time they think of us they tap into their highest essence. Every time they interact with us, they rise to their highest expression. Our judgments and our making them wrong, ironically trap them into lower behaviors, as they respond to our lower broadcast about who they are in kind. Keep your images high, even the images you have of yourself. Hold images of yourself as loving, patient, allowing and positively supportive. Or as a tower of strength and precisely targeted and tactful truth, if your gift is that of strong medicine. Empower the people around you with a steady broadcast of love. Bless your loved ones and friends with an energetic transmission of trust and faith in their potential and of their ability to grow as their Soul desires. Become a transmission station broadcasting love and trust and visions of fulfilled potential to all the people in your life. And watch the miracles unfold. And know that by doing so, you are setting the energy templates for others to follow, creating powerful collective change one person at a time. Thank you for your powerful contribution to an evolved humanity. May you be blessed as you walk the path of your Soul.

Katie Lilac©2015 Katie Gallanti. All rights reserved. www.reclaimingthelight.com .  Katie Gallanti is a metaphysician, healer, intuitive, teacher and writer. For further information email moc.l1495899801iamto1495899801h@itn1495899801allag1495899801eitak1495899801 . If re-posting, preferably re-post as a link to this blog, if cut and pasting, re-post in its entirety, with this copyright and bio byline.

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2 Responses to Assisting Without Overstepping: Common Pitfalls of the Spiritually Inclined

  1. Aunty Crow says:

    Wonderful, gentle and insightful article. Thank-you!

  2. joanne huntsman says:

    Katie, I came to your site following up your last article reposted by a kinesiologist friend on the fb page. Just to say what a great article you have written above. I am that newbie who has been overkeen to pass on and meddle and blah.. but the article you have written is so kindly instructive, I will reread and learn with pleasure. JH

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